Fun times at the hospital...

     I woke this morning to James crying he was hot. I changed his shirt in the night, half asleep, eyes closed, and crawled back in bed (an art I mastered as all the kids were infants to be able to change diapers - even yucky ones, in the dark, eyes closed).... Just as I got comfy, he cried hysterically. Exhausted, I went back in his room, asked what the issue was now. My lovely boy had emptied his stomach contents on his bed. JOY.... :)
     So for the next hour or more (I lost track... I was so tired) I made multiple trips between the kitchen and the little man on the couch. We had our pan rotation... puke in one, clean it while he has another at bay to fill for me upon my arrival. Yes.... joys of motherhood. A call to the doctor awhile later at 5 a.m. and we follow doctors orders and go to the hospital. The trip was so pleasant, as I drove, exchanged pans.... dumping the contents out the window at various red lights, and praying we made it before I would run out of gas (I had no intention the night b4 to go out any further than the gym).
     We arrive at the hospital, they get him all set up, he welcomes each visiting doctor and nurse (even the lady at the check in station) with a warm greeting and showing of his wonderful vomiting skills. They take vitals, do the usual, give him some meds to stop the neon yellow stuff coming out of him, and he falls asleep within moments on me. I lay there..... unable to sleep. I finally crash at 6 a.m. and he wakes at 6:15 (no joke!).... just chattering away like nothing ever happened!
     I knew he was all better when he decided to play superman off the hospital bed.... in an attempt to tour other regions of the hospital facility! :) A half hour later, we came home and no one knew he had even been sick (......other than my toilet and bathroom that would have preferred an atomic bomb been released in there over his presence in there!)
     So what do I take from this situation? Enjoy the moments of being with the little ones. It's no fun when they are sick.... but I have to say, my little man has not taken a nap on my chest since he was a teeny tiny infant. It was so sweet getting to cuddle him and just listen to him lay there and sleep. I sat there for 45 minutes, barely able to keep my eyes open as I enjoyed the moment of my rambunctious little boy being a calm peaceful mamas boy for a few moments!
     Too often we get caught up in life doing this and that and we miss those small moments to really relish in those moments of cuddling. I hope we get some more of those moments.... minus the neon vomit, bed changing, pan rotation, ewey yuckiness but with lots more snuggles, hugs and kisses!

Psalm 118:24
"This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it."

Goodbyes.... they suck!

There are times in life where things just stink. Today I sat in my daughters' room and had a talk with them I really would rather not have had. I had to tell them that kitty was sick again, and it was not looking good. It broke my heart to tell them that kitty may go be with Jesus soon. We sat there, I prayed, and held my 5 year old Tabitha in my arms as we both sobbed and cried. Austanne tried to comfort us with her words but I could tell she was hurting some too.

    It's moments like these I never was prepared for as a mom. I AM praying and believing God will heal the cat. He is teetering between being okay one minute and then the next he goes pee and cries out in pain afterward... but he IS urinating. See, his problem is he has gotten kidney stones and keeps struggling to not get them more again. He just came home after 3 1/2 weeks at the vets office. There is a surgery he can have done to help him, but its not something we can afford at the moment. It breaks my heart to see we may lose our cat... this kitty who is so sweet who loves to snuggle up at night and just relax with me.... this kitty who was my dad's cat.... and this kitty who my 5 year old Tabitha has really taken a strong liking to. It breaks my heart to have to put him to sleep but I don't want him to suffer if he does not get better.
     I have peace in my heart right now about it, that God is in control.... I just hope the plan is for kitty to be okay.... not for him to go be with my dad. It's moments like this... I never prepared for as a mom. I hate having to break bad news to my kids.
     I remember walking into the hospital waiting room where all 5 kids were sitting.... waiting with the rest of my family as we had just arrived in town to go see my dad in the hospital. I remember walking in that room, dreading and preparing in my mind what I needed to tell them. I remember it being the first time any of them had to face anything so serious. I remember calling them all over and telling them with a broken heart that sometimes Jesus chooses to fix us here on this earth.... and sometimes He chooses to fix us in Heaven. My heart ached with pain as I knew I would be losing my dad soon because I knew upon seeing him what the answer was. It broke my heart to see my children sad, to see the heartbreak in their eyes and the tears. Knowing that they would not get that final goodbye because I did not want that to be their last memory of their Grandpa. My heart broke....
     Goodbyes suck. I can't put it any more plainly. They just flat out suck. I don't know how spouses make it through those times of saying goodbye.... when its more than a "see you in an hour," but rather, "I will see you on the other side." My heart breaks for parents who have to to say those final goodbyes to their precious children who have gone on before them.

     But we have that hope, in Jesus. We have that hope that if we call on Him, if we ask Him into our hearts, He will hear us, He will forgive us, and He will save us. We will go to Heaven when we die and spend an eternity with Him and with those we love so much.
     I ask you today, if you don't know Jesus.... do you want to? Do you want to step out and know that when you die, you will go to Heaven? That you will get to be with not only God the Father, but also be reunited with those you love so dearly? I implore you to ask Jesus into your heart today.... because there is no sadder goodbye than a goodbye that will last an eternity.

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John 3:16

New International Version (NIV)

¹⁶ For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

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A call to 911....

It was a couple days before Christmas .... Some friends had just left our house and we were relaxing! Stephen had suggested we play a game of candy land with the kids but we could not find the box. So while we looked, he went downstairs to begin to work on the plumbing. The shower was leaky and he wanted to fix it before it became too much of a problem. I had just gone to the store earlier in the day to get him a brand new chainsaw blade for his die grinder. He had just opened it and put it in his die grinder and began to work. Upstairs I could hear him working below as the kids played and I looked for the game. A few minutes later I heard a lot of noise coming from the basement but no screams so I thought everything was okay.
     Then.... I heard it. "Missy.... get the kids ready. We need to go to the hospital." I knew something bad happened. This is the man who could be dying and refuses to see a doctor because he felt it was unnecessary. I told the kids "Get your coats and shoes on"... knowing full well in the back of my mind this is a 20 minute process because most of them were just wearing a t-shirt and underwear or a diaper (and its late December in Michigan!) He emerged from the basement, leaving a bloody trail the whole way. I go in the bathroom with him to get more light, assuming its not all that bad because he is pretty calm and composed. Then I seen it.... and began to panic. This was no mild cut.... this was not just a little boo boo that a band-aid could fix... nothing a stitch or two could fix... this was full fledged "we got a problem!".... I looked at him and said, "dear, there is no way I can have these kids ready fast enough. I need to call 911." He was okay. As I was on the phone with them, I took a bed sheet and made a tourniquet to stop as much bleeding as possible. It appeared to be his bone I could see...blood all over.... it was a mess.
     The paramedics arrived within less than two minutes (we live less than 1/2 mile from the firehouse). The kids were all ushered into the girls' bedroom as they began to cry they did not want daddy to die. They rushed him to the hospital where they looked at his injuries. Pastor Hal came and prayed with us, as many of our friends joined in prayer. The next morning he had surgery done to fix a tendon in his arm, and sew him back up. He had so many stitches it was crazy. The wound stretched from his elbow to his wrist. It stopped at his watch. His watch protected his wrist.
     It was a very scary time, but I look back and I thank God for His hand of protection over my husband and our family. See, Stephen is self-employed as a landscaper. In the winter we get lots of snow.... which requires him to salt and plow... he needs his arm for that. It did not snow for many weeks right after it happened which allowed him healing time. Our friends had just left not even a half hour prior to the accident, so they were able to come back and sit with our kids while I went to the hospital with him. But the most amazing part is this.... when the die grinder took off and flew all over the ceiling in the basement above his head and going down his arm (all within a matter of seconds) it went down the outside of his forearm, not the inside. Had it gone down the inside, he would have died most likely. It would have taken out his veins and artery. The paramedics most likely would have arrived in time for him to bleed out. God had His hand of protection over our family.
     Even when it seems like, "God, why are you allowing this to happen to me?".... step back and say "God, thank you for allowing this to happen to me.... I know it could have been a whole lot worse." Thank the Lord for His hand of protection upon you as you drive through traffic that that drunk driver did not hit you... that the teenager who is texting while driving looked up in time to miss you...... that even though you ran out of gas on your way to work, it's okay.... maybe you just avoided a deadly accident. Or something so simple as maybe you did not get as much on your paycheck.... because you will have to stretch your faith a little farther trusting that God is going to provide for your every need. Thank Him for the flowers, thank Him for the rain.... thank Him for the sunshine, and thank Him for the pain.

1 Thessalonians 5:18

 (NIV)

¹⁸ give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

Bit in the butt...

     Bedtime.... oh sweet sweet bedtime! Yes, one of my most look forward to times in the day. When the children are peacefully asleep I can relax.... kick my feet up and just sip on a cup of ice cold tea and say "this is the life!"..... well... maybe in some fantasy land, right? Bedtime comes... its chaos! The kids are getting their baths (thank God for the bathtub we have that can fit 4 kids in at one time!).... one will splash another one thinking its hilarious, Austanne gets a nice ice cold cup of water and dumps it on her sister who shrieks... then laughs and returns the favor! They get out... lips turning blue from all the nice favors they returned to one another. They attempt to run through the house naked.... of which I tell them 10 times they need to go get some underwear on! Yes..... bedtime! David tells James hurry get some underwear on or the dog might bite his "he he".... and Tabitha emerges from her bedroom with a beautiful red skirt, bright pink shirt and purple tights.... and if I dare say she needs to change her clothes she informs me she looks beautiful... so I just let her wear it. Aaron gets in the shower as they come out - after much nagging he finally listens and gets the hint - he IS a pre-teen, maybe he should get clean.... yes.... bedtime! 
     It's chaos.... but it was especially more one night when the kids came flooding out of the bathroom like a production line... kid one emerges, they dry off, go potty and leave. Kid two emerges... then kid three.... then kid four. Unfortunatly David did not heed my usual telling to him to get some clothes on. He and James hung out at the kitchen door.... (its a half door - which leads to the back of the house where the bathroom is).... David thought it would be extra funny if he hung on the door (just the bottom half is installed) and James would swing it. All fun and games until... well.... James did not want to play anymore. He must have gotten angry with David.... He did not close David in the door. He bit him right on his bare butt cheek! 
     Lots of tears followed, I had to reprimand James but inside me I was kind of laughing. Seriously!? He bit him IN the butt?! But had David listened to directions, he would have been IN his bedroom getting his clothes on and James would not have had opportunity to bite him. 
     If we think about life.... how many times have we failed to follow through with directions that we have been given and we thought it was okay. We continued on as if everything was perfect, enjoying this new game we have created, forgetting the consequences. But then, the consequence comes in, sneaks up on us, and bites us right in the butt! OUCH we cry! What just happened? It's called cause and effect... you do something, there will be something that will happen as a result of that. My mom always said growing up, "You can make whatever decision you want to make, but you will have to deal with the consequence of that. There are good consequences and bad ones." That has stuck with me. I encourage you to step back, take a moment and think about where you are headed in your life. What are the consequences you are facing? Are they good or bad? Just be careful you don't get bit in the butt! 

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I Peter 5:8-9

⁸ Be on your guard and stay awake. Your enemy, the devil, is like a roaring lion, sneaking around to find someone to attack.⁹ But you must resist the devil and stay strong in your faith. 

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Keep going... never stop!

 
 Keep swimming.... keep swimming! Do you remember that part from Finding Nemo? That line and the birds that all say "mine... mine.... mine" seem to pop in my head frequently! there are days with the kids where I say just keep swimming - keep going! Don't give up..... as the kids are driving me nuts going... "mine... mine.... mine.... mine!" yes... my sanity wants to evade my head and just let me go crazy!

     Today was one of those days! I don't know what triggered it.... maybe my extreme fatigue, the 20 interruptions we had this morning while attempting to get our school lessons done, or just the mental chaos that I had in my head of knowing all I had to do. But in the end, we finished our school lesson, we managed to get our messes cleaned up from the morning and go on a bike ride. Just when things seemed to calm down some, it became a rush against the clock to get the kids lunch and a short bedtime movie so we could get up in time to get Aaron from school to rush home and start all over again!
     In the end, the day ended on a good note. We ate a decent dinner and went to the spider web park. The kids had a great time climbing and getting out all that extra energy! I was amazed as I looked at James climb like it was the easiest thing in the world for a boy his age! He is a mere 2 1/2 and is a tad on the short to average side. He did not quit, he did not give up... he just kept climbing and climbing!
     What a valuable lesson to take in life... even when climbing up hill, fighting a battle that seems to be relentless, keep going, keep climbing... because the prize is soon to come! The goal is within reach! When reaching out to tell others about Jesus, when they push you away.... don't give up on them too soon! Keep pressing on, keep praying and keep believing!

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Philippians 3:14

New International Version (NIV)

¹⁴ I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

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Don't settle for less....

     "Kids... get ready! We are going to go look at a van!" They kids excitedly ran and got their shoes on and got ready to leave the house. This scene repeated itself many times this last week. We looked at so many vans I think our eyes wanted to fall out. Each time the kids would ask, "Can we get it? Did we buy it?" and sadly I would have to tell them no..... it wasn't the van for us. Either it looked better online than it really was (i.e. a yellow paint factory must have went haywire in the one), a little rust (you might just lose a door driving down the road), clean and ready to roll (needs about $1500 in work to get it ready) or needed a paint job but having a family we could probably just deal with it (someone keyed it.... although it appeared someone took a jackhammer to the paint job). Yes... we have seen many vans!
     Stephen looked online, I looked online, we called places looking for what we had in mind and our budget. Goal: decent miles, not a ton of cash, and good condition. That was a hard challenge. So yesterday Stephen called the dealer (an hour away) and asked him about their van. It was originally nearly double what we had available to buy it with... and that was before taxes, title and plates. He negotiated over the phone at half of the original asking.... knowing it was a crazy insane offer and would ONLY be accepted if THIS is the van God had for us.... and minutes before the dealership closed, they called and accepted our crazy offer! What!? It totally was a God thing because no dealer had accepted any offer like that!
     This came after visiting a dealership in the morning prior and being only $200 short of the amount we needed.... we had the money not even an hour later after going to the bank and called to say we were on our way but the van had sold. We were disappointed but knew that's not the one God had for us.

     All this to say... Don't settle for less than what God has for you. Don't settle because you are in a hurry, but rather seek Him and what He has for you! For His plans are the best plans of all! Now we have an awesome van that seats our whole family.... and kids who are SO excited because we finally could say "yes.... we bought it... it's ours!"





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Proverbs 3:5-6

New International Version 

⁵ Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
⁶ in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight.

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Climbing through the web....

"I can't do it Mommy! I am so scared I am going to fall!" Austanne said as she was trying to climb what felt like a huge spider web of ropes! "Yes you can baby... keep trying! Keep it up!"..... but she kept climbing back down. At first she would only try to climb up about 3 feet off the ground, then she would go maybe 4 or 5 feet.... she tried, and tried but repeatedly retreated back to the safety of the ground. Discouraged she was losing her motivation and her desire to achieve this daunting goal!
     Racing by were Tabitha, David... and even James was attempting to get to the top. This just ate at Austanne like nothing else! How could everyone else get to the top but her? She REALLY wanted to go down that slide! She cried..... and cried..... and cried. I stood beneath her and said "Come on! You can do it!" as I encouraged her! I told her I would be under her in case she fell. Still she was scared. Finally she had made it to the very top of the ropes - and as she had just ONE rope left to go over, she said it was too scary and had to stop.
     "No! You are going to do this! You are going to get to the top! You are not a quitter... keep trying! If you were a quitter you would have stopped by now! I will not let you quit! You can do it! Come on!" I told her. She held on for dear life as I held onto her arms and pulled her my way as she screamed "NO! NO! I can't do it! No! I am scared! NO mommy!".... back and forth we went in the battle as I pried her fingers free, while balancing myself between the ropes..... and finally she realized "Hey! I can do this!" She reached up, grabbed onto the rope above her head... and there at the slide, the whole time cheering her on, was her sister. Tabitha reached over, held out her arm and helped to bring Austanne to the slide where she was on a more solid surface. In sheer joy Austanne and Tabitha slid down the slide.
     It really struck me how important it is not to quit, not to give up and listen to what you think is going to happen but listen to what you know is going to happen! Was I going to let her go and fall to her doom? Had Tabitha fallen down? Had David? Had even tiny James fell? No. I was right there by her side and as her mother, I would NEVER let anything happen to her if I could help it!
     Same goes with God! Don't give up just because it seems too hard. Don't settle for less than what you are worth. Don't give in to the devil when he whispers in your ear "your not good enough.... you don't deserve to be loved by anyone".... or when he tells you "You should just quit now... all you are is a failure, an embarrassment.... everyone is so ashamed of you!"..... Don't listen to him when he whispers to you or even shouts at you "You are worthless! Useless! Why were you ever created!?" Because God has a plan for you... He loves you.... He cares for you and He NEVER gives up on you! See, you are His child..... His greatest joy! And just as I stood below and beside my daughter as she climbed today.... He is standing right there with us... if we fall down He will lift us up.... if we mess up, He is there to encourage us that He loves us and is so thankful for us! Don't give in to the liar but listen to the One who loves you and created you!

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2 Timothy 1:7

New Living Translation 

⁷ For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.

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